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Finding the Light


When I started this blog in 2012, I thought that the title “my way back to you” was leading me to California and the friendships and family that I missed. Since the beginning, I have had two more kids and now have a family of 5 (my sons, 2 & 3, and a daughter, 5months old). I took a break from writing because I was exhausted and pregnant and then I was just exhausted from trying to get used to tending to 3 little ones 24/7, as well as my husband.
Recently, I’ve been itching to write again, but I didn’t know where to begin. That’s when it occurred to me that what I have been wanting to get back to is myself so that I can get back to the other people that I care about. So, this is the new direction of this blog. I’ve been dealing with accepting that there are some new physical limits that come with being an older mom and the importance of being physically active so that I can age with grace and not just have aging happen to me. I want there to be peace within me with having changes happen due to pregnancy and I want there to be peace within me with having changes happen due to aging. And I don’t want to just sit on my ass and let my physical health slide away just because finding the time and energy to exercise is hard and it hurts a thousand times now than it did 5 years ago before I had kids and was pre-40’s. So there it is and here we go.


Damn Computer


# My computer died last week and I can only post from my phone until I find the other power cord which I haven’t seen since I packed it in February. I wanted to clarify that all of the recipes that I am using are either from Fresh 20, a food menu subscription that I belong to or from the cookbook Weelicious by Catherine McCord. Any who, here are some scenes of what I’ve been cooking up the last week, sans all the takeout I’ve indulged in tooπŸ˜‰

The above was a Beefaroni take from Fresh20

Roasted Zucchini w/balsamic from Fresh20

I forget the name of this but, basically Chicken Alfredo-Fresh20

Crispy chicken and an apple balsamic salad-Fresh20

French toast-Weelicious

Monday, Monday


Today was a day. A Monday. We had cold spilt coffee dripping down my 14m old just as we were supposed to be leaving for soccer practice. Luckily, I was able to clean him up and make it for the last 20 minutes of class. Then, I found out our pediatrician could see my 14 m old for possible pink eye, only to have me spill almost an entire strawberry milkshake in the cars center cup holder. I had to race back into the house to grab a ton of paper towels and then jet off to our appointment.
If only I could leave well enough alone, but, no. That would be too easy. I decided to do my Fresh 20 meal plan for the week so that we can eat something other than a burger or noodles or pizza, which is mostly all I’ve been craving. (Well, the pizza.) I dragged the boys to the grocery store and got my weeks supply of food, per the list provided for the weeks menus and headed home. It actually went pretty well. I was able to pre-prepare the veggies I was supposed to and then meet my brother, sister in law nieces and nephew at the park. The goal was to not have to take as long to make dinner once we got back. It all went off without a hitch and, although my 29m old didn’t like it, my 14m old did as well as the Mr. All in all, a success. I made Veggie Burgers with Parmesan Zucchini. Can I say that the reason I don’t post actual recipes is because I feel that, unless the recipe is from a free, public source, it would be unethical of me to cheat the creators/purveyors of said recipes out of what they are trying to earn. It’d be like me buying a CD and downloading it and sharing it with the whole world for free. Anyway, just my feelings. Here are the photos of how it all went. Oh, and “Veggie Burger” may be something of a misnomer since they contain meat. I was fooled, too, until I read the recipe.

Things got too crazy once all the food was ready for me to have been of sound enough mind to take a photo of it all complete together. Just imagine the stuff in the pan scooped into burger buns and sitting on a plate next to the zucchini.
I am actually looking forward to making the other recipes because I do want to eat better and I was on such a roll. Now, I’m off to fill my belly with a last snack of the night bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios.

I’m Just Sayin


I am exhausted beyond words and I can tell that as this year goes on, I will only become more so. Something had got to give because I have fallen off track of cooking and have been taking the easy route of take-out. I need to get it together. Last nite, I even used a baby wipe to clean my face but, at least I’ve maintained the ability to brush my teeth twice a day. Off to bed. I need to find a better time during the day to write rather than waiting until bedtime when I am plain worn out.
Ok, I’m not really off to bed. I’m off to watch my DVR’d episode of TRHW of Atlanta. I can’t lie. Later, gators.

Veggie Nuggets, Damn It


Obviously, I am having a hard time staying on course with daily writing. I’ve been struggling with crazy, bad allergies and trying to find ways to mitigate it. The swim lesson over the weekend went off with nary a hitch. There were no wardrobe malfunctions and, as is usually the case with us, it was so crazy just getting us all dressed ad there that I didn’t have time to fret about my body. I do have to mention that I am constantly amazed at my bosoms ability to inflate and deflate to the point that I’m never sure which size I’m going to be confronted with on any given day. Saturday, my swimsuit was more busty than I was, which created a gap that pleased my ever nursing 13m old. In the frenzy to load the boys, the Mr forgot to grab their change of clothes that I’d laid out the night before. Madness. That’s all I’ll say about that.
I’ve been taking the easy route with meal times but I did attempt to make a recipe for veggie nuggets from “Weelicious”. Things went ok until I realized that the recipe called for an hour to hour n a half stint in the freezer and I’d planned on serving them straight away. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve done that, not read a recipe through and missed some vital piece of info thus throwing me into a frenzy to get it all together. Anyway and luckily, we had left over mac-n-cheese in the fridge so I threw that together with some organic hot dogs. Here are some photos from my veggie nugget quest:

There were also some mashed potatoes as part of the recipe.

I got this far and placed it in the freezer for an hour. They seemed to thaw rather quickly for how much there was to dip in the egg, flour and breadcrumbs so I got frustrated and lazy and gave up on cutting it all up. In the end, I smeared the flour, whisked eggs and then the breadcrumbs on top and shoved it all in the freezer. I made it today by baking it and then broiling it because I wanted it to be crispy or just less mushy. That would have been ok had I not gotten distracted by my 13m old needing a nap and me forgetting I had put it in the oven and then forgetting to tell the Mr… Though you would think the smell of something burning would have alerted him to check the oven, right? Anyway, here is the final product.

It actually tasted good to me, so I would attempt this again with better planning. πŸ˜„

I’m off to bed so more later. G’nite.

All Apologies


When I lived in California, I exercised at least three times a week. I’d ride my bike a few miles to a coffee shop near Balboa Park and then run three miles and then bike back home. I even got certified as a fitness specialist. Then I moved across the country where I’m sure some depression along with an aversion for the hot , hot heat of summer and the cold, cold, cold of winter stopped me in my tracks. Not to mention that I have allergies, which I somehow forgot I had,
that got rejuvenated by the climate… Why I’m living in one of the top 5 worst places to live for allergies I don’t know. Needless to say, between climate, pregnancies and lack of motivation I haven’t exercised regularly in 4yrs. Thank God for a high metabolism, because I also live in one of the unhealthiest states in the country.
All of this is leading to the fact that my boys start swim class this weekend and it sent me into a flurry of swimsuit anxiety. I have a decent swimsuit designed to disguise the belly behind a blur of polka dots but I will still have to put my skinny-fat butt into it and bare my arms. Ugh. I had a brief moment last night while trying on said swimsuit of wondering if I could squeeze 3yrs of exercise into 15 minutes. 😞 Alas, I will have no way out of facing the fact that I have taken poor care of the body these last few years.
When I moved here I was 37 and looked about 30-31 max. Now, I’ve somehow aged 10 years and feel like I look 45 and I’m not even there yet. So here goes my public apology to my body.
“Dearest body, you have put up with my poor eating habits and abuse with nary a whisper or a cry. You didn’t punish me for the years of depression and misery and moments of non-exercise by blowing up or breaking down and I took you for granted. Now you are showing me what will happen if I continue to ignore your need for movement and better care. I hear you. My flabby butt hears you as we’ll as my mini bat wings, dry skin and limp hair. I will do right by you. I’m sorry. I am sorry. I’ve already started to actually wash my face instead regularly relying on facial cleansing wipes and I’ve been trying to moisturize my hands after each washing. It’s a small start but we can do this together. We can. Starting here. Starting now. Well, starting after I change this poopy diaper…”