baby, oh, baby

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Finally, Baby B is here. He arrived on Wednesday nite at almost nine P.M.. I must say that I have never been so busy in my whole life. My 15 month old has vacillated between ignoring the baby and being fascinated with him. He nursed through my whole pregnancy but the frequency had diminished to only nap and bed times with a supplemental bottle or two. Now, he wants to nurse all the time, especially when he sees Baby B nursing. I am having to weigh my initial desire to have him self wean with my own feelings of being slightly overwhelmed. Since Baby J is almost a toddler, his intake is large and it’s hard having a baby attached to your person for most of the day (this is what it feels like, anyway). I did some more research on tandem nursing, which is what I’m doing, and feel better knowing that other mom’s have struggled with this issue. If I am unable to keep nursing Baby J, I think I will be able to go easy on myself and not beat myself up over it. Anyway, it is amazing to have the newest addition to our family on the outside of me. He is such a cutie and so tiny. Well, compared to Baby J, he seems that way. (I was not saying that during my delivery. Baby B was 8 lbs 14 oz, larger than Baby J’s birth weight of 7 lbs 15 oz.)

The Mr has taken time off to help me and it’s been a blessing and a curse. We are both so frazzled and I am so cranky that we are constantly snapping at each other. I know there are things I could be doing to maybe help us feel more connected, but it’s hard juggling everything. I was watching “Bethany Ever After” and there’s a scene where she’s having lunch with a friend and they talk about having to learn how to be a wife. I think that’s true for me. I got to spend a lot of time being selfish and not having to take another adults feelings into consideration and old habits die hard. Plus, I am very much an introvert, so I like alone time which doesn’t really happen when you have kids. Me time away from the house isn’t something I’ve done since living here because I don’t have friends I want to see or anyplace I really want to go. My goal this week is to finish my vision board so that I can gain some clarity and come up with some workable solutions to my life. Gotta remind myself “I am responsible for the energy I release”.

I’m going to savor my last few moments of quiet as my boys sleep and catch up on HGTv and Pinterest while sipping my cup of coffee. Mmmmmmm….

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